Changes In Consumption
by rattan
Summary: When L attempts to go on a diet...just what will happen?
1. Chapter 1

(AN) Well, this is the first story I've posted that is solely humor...

* * *

" Attention, task force members." L's voice rang out, stern and commanding.

Everyone almost jumped out of their seats. L? Stern? Commanding?

Everyone's gazes were drawn to the man in the door, who's face was flat as usual, but held an unusual air of determinacy.

Watari was the first to recover. " Yes, Ryuuzaki?"

" I have a very important announcment to make. This is a monumental moment in history, so everyone should pay attention." L held his head tall, straightening his back.

_' Monumental... but if I respond, it might increase his suspicion about me being Kira... But if I don't, he'll think that I'm trying to hide by ignoring him... On the other hand, if it will decrease the likelyness of me saying something that sounds akin to something Kira would say... maybe I should just stay silent...respond or not respond or not respond or not...'_ The turmoil in Light's mind became so great that he fell out of his chair, screeching, " AAAAGGGGHH! TELL US!" in hope that perhaps L would be so perplexed that there would be no thought in his mind about Light being Kira.

It seemed to work somewhat; L **and **the rest of the task force all seemed quite startled. But he recovered quickly, clearing his throat. " Do I have everyone's attention?"

Everyone silently nodded.

" I-" L paused for effect. " -am going on a diet."

" R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-Ryuuzaki!" Watari stuttered. " Why would you do something like this!"

A thump resonated from the back of the room as Matsuda fainted. L only spared him a passing glance as he made his way to the mini freezer right by his body. Everyone's eyes were on him as he opened the door, withdrawing a box.

" Um, Ryuuzaki, why would you need to diet if you are so skinny?" Light asked as L pulled out another box.

" Hm. By saying that, the likelyness of you being Kira has rose 40%."

" What! What does your peculiar idea have to do anything with me being Kira."

" Well Light Yagami, there is a 26.5840% chance that when I am middle aged and/or elderly, I will get a mental impairment such as Alzheimer's. If this was the case, I may become incapable of burning calories mentally as I have up until this moment. So, my previous dietary habits would catch up with me. And, as my metabolism weakens with age, it will become ever increasingly likely that I will gain weight. As you can see-" L made eye contact with every person in the room. " -that would be a problem." L brought one of the boxes out of the shadows into the glow of the computer, where it was visible.

It was a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich box, vanilla and cookies and cream flavored. L uncovered the other box, which was Healthy Choice chocolate ice cream bars. L got to his feet, standing behind the two boxes.

" For the next two months, I will only eat food products from Skinny Cow and Healthy Choice. I will also eat at least one piece of fruit a day. Fruit gummy snacks count." L dusted some imaginary dust off of his jeans. " When I am drinking tea, I will add one less cube of sugar than I usually do. This is a difficult change for me, so expect me to be extremely cranky and disagreeable for this period of time."

The room was completely silent until Matsuda regained consciousness and lunged for the Skinny Cow's, squealing, " ICE CREAM!"

He got a foot in the face, courtesy of L.

While Matsuda sat in the corner, whimpering and rubbing his nose, Soichiro went up to L. He put his hand on the young man's shoulder.

" Ryuuzaki, I never thought that I would tell anyone this but my own children, but **eating ice cream all day is not a diet**."

" Don't be ridiculous." L took the Skinny Cow box into his arms, pointing at the cow at top, who had a measuring tape around their waist.

" I did a very complex mathmatical equation, and I discovered that this animal's waist is only 28 inches. **And** these ice cream sandwiches are reduced fat. And considering that, its pretty good; my usual diet isn't reduced **anything,**" L explained. He tore at the top of the box with his fingernail, retrieving a sandwhich and shoving it into his mouth, wrapper and all. Various expressions of digust could be seen on the members of the task force, including Matsuda, who looked like he never wanted to eat ice cream again.

L shrugged. " The wrapper provides fiber."

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(AN) This will be continued, after I get at least two reviews and an alert!


	2. Chapter 2

(AN) I said I would update. I said I would update. I said I would update.

And I did! But it's almost been a month...*guilty feelings, guilty feelings*

I'm sorry that I took so long to update, it's just that I have 4 ongoing stories, and it sometimes feels like I'm running around in the eternal labyrinth of writers block(If that makes any sense⏀_⏀)

Well, enjoy!

* * *

" Oi, Ryuuzaki." Light's voice came out of the dark shadows of the investigation room.

" Hm? What is it Light? If you are going to irritate me about trivial things such as who ate the last of the Pączki, then I would I advise that you keep your mouth shut," L said, swiveling around in his chair.

_' Jeez, why does he always assume I'm trying to bug him...I don't even like Pączki!'_

" Well, I don't know if this is what you consider 'trivial', but why do you consider what you're eating a diet? And Ryuuzaki, if you want fiber, then I would advise that you eat something that is actually food!" Light said.

" You really think so?" L asked, voice muffled due to a Healthy Choice wrapper stuffed between his teeth.

Sweat formed on Light's forehead. " Yes Ryuuzaki, I **really** think so. Please spit that out."

He tried not to wince as the sound of L swallowing something came from his right.

" Well, I must admit that is a good point that you are making, Light," L replied. " Perhaps you could introduce one of these "actual foods" that you are referring to to me."

" Wonderful!" On the inside Light was brimming with maniacal anticipation.

_' Perhaps I could slip poison into his food...but what if he has antidote in his pocket...or what if he has already consumed anti-poison...Perhaps I could just give something that he's allergic to...wait-does he even have any allergies...No! He doesn't, I remember checking his medical file...Perhaps I could make him laugh while he is eating, thus forcing him to choke...no...L never_ laughs!'

" Light? Your face is twitching and you're foaming at the mouth."

" What? Really?" Light snapped out of his reverie, rubbing at his lips with the back of his hand.

" Hm. Just as I suspected. If you don't know yet, that was a joke. Now the percentage of you being Kira has risen about 20%." L licked the Healthy choice popsicle stick free of any chocolate residue.

" What does that have to do with anything⁈" Light exclaimed. On the inside, he was seething.

_' This homicide business sure is tough...'_

" Oh yeah, Light, I won't eat any of that stuff until I empty all of the ice cream boxes in my freezer," L piped up.

" How many boxes do you have?"

" I'm estimating around 24, but then there's Watari's freezer to consider as well..." L mused.

" Never mind!"

* * *

" Okay L. This is bread," Light said, shaking around a loaf of bread, encased in a plastic bag. He had ran to his apartment and back in a matter of 10 minutes (which doesn't make any sense, considering he doesn't even live in this region...oh well) soaked with rain, bread tucked securely under his arm.

" It looks like cake, but without the yumminess. This is a rough guess, but it most likely contains bleached flour, eggs..." L then went on to list every single ingredient in the bread, in perfect order, Light's eyes widening approximately one millimeter with each word he uttered.

" W-well, it seems you know some things about bread already." Light cleared his throat. " Now Ryuuzaki-"

L looked up at him, large, insightful eyes brimming with boredom." I will eat it. I am not a child Light; I am fully capable of understanding the concept of bread. If you wish, I can explain to you it's history, dating back to-"

" No thank you Ryuuzaki!" Light tore open the bag, handing L a piece of bread. " Then eat it."

L took the piece of bread in his hand, placing it in his lap as he reached into his pocket, withdrawing a stick of butter. He then proceeded to butter the whole entire slice, crust included, until there was barely anything left in his hand. He put it back in, pulling out a jumbo bag of sugar from under his desk.

Sweat formed on Light's forehead. " Uh, Ryuuzaki, just what exactly are you doing-"

L tilted the bag back into his mouth, disgusting anybody reading this. Thankfully, he only poured out enough to sugarcoat his whole entire mouth. Then, very dramatically, L picked up the piece of bread, only daring to nibble on the tiniest corner.

He gagged. " How deplorable. And really Light? I'm on a diet, it isn't that advisable for me to consume this much sugar and butter. I'm disappointed that you would force me to do something like this!" L rubbed his chin. " The probability of you being Kira has risen by 40%."

Light's anger now became obvious. " What do you mean, forced you⁈ I just told you to eat the bread, not that other stuff! You didn't even eat it!"

" But...it wouldn't even be food if I didn't do that stuff, right? You told me to eat **actual** food!" In an ultimate chibi moment, L's lip jutted out. " Wh-what did I do wrong⁈"

" DAMN IT! You're so annoying! Why didn't I write your name in the Death Note when I could⁈" Light stormed away, but not before stomping the bread package into the ground. He didn't even realize that he had essentially just admitted that he was Kira as he tore through the room towards the door, yelling "STUPID STUPID STUPID‼"repeatedly.

L allowed himself a small smile as he opened up another Skinny cow, licking any excess sugar off of his lips.

" Success."

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(AN) Whaaa! Light! You hate Pączki⁈ Thats a crime!


	3. Chapter 3

L narrowed his eyes, examining his toes. His largest toe on the right side had a nail that was slightly longer than the one on the left.

He had no clue as to why this should bother him. He had never had any particular fixation on symmetry. Hm. Perhaps this sudden change of preferences was due to the cartoon character with white stripes in his hair, on the bottom right corner screen on his wall, who was currently beating his fist into the floor, wailing about his neglect for his toilet paper.*

How irritating. L turned that monitor off.

L straightened in his chair as one of the screens made a beeping noise. The image of Soichiro appeared on the once blank screen, staring up at L.

" Yes?" L asked.

" I'm coming to the computer room."

" Very well." A few seconds later, the door swung open, and Soichiro came in, rain dripping off of his immaculately styled hair. " If I may inquire, why is my son lying outside in a puddle, screaming and attempting to choke himself to death?"

L nibbled on his thumb nonchalantly. " Hm. I believe it's something about me being irritating."

" Ah," Soichiro muttered, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. He stepped forward slightly, but then jumped back, an expression of disgust registering on his face. " Ryuuzaki, why is there a smashed up loaf of bread lying on the floor?"

" Because Light-kun threw it there and stomped on it."

" Why did he throw it there and stomp on it?"

" Because he's Kira."

" Ah," Soichiro repeated, the normalcy of L's statement obviously apparent to him. L returned his attention to the vast array of screens in front of him, turning the one in the corner back on. Great. Now there was a blond girl with pigtails displayed there, whining about how they were all going to die.*

L's eye ticked, and he turned it off again, reaching into the Skinny Cow box next to him.

" NOOOO‼" A cry came from behind him. L twitched slightly, hand pausing above the box, as he turned around, the vision of Light dragging himself across the floor coming to his eyes. The teenager was grinding his fingers into the floor, eyes bulging. " Eat the bread! EAT THE BREAD‼ Absorb it's bacteria into your body and vomit! Ha!" Light wiped at his eyes. For some reason he seemed transfixed by the blue tiles on the floor.

" Vomit is a funny word..." he mumbled, before passing out.

Nobody seemed to react to this appearance of the half deranged teenager, and L soon went back to his screens. " Unless you have something useful to contribute Soichiro, I would advise that you leave now so I can continue with my work."

" Ryuuzaki, this is a random question, but what exactly do you do all day with all of these computers sitting in front of you?" the older man asked.

" Well, I've never been asked that before..." L mused. He stroked his chin with his forefinger. " Hm, well, I suppose I sit here... and I eat ice cream... and drink coffee... though on occasion I drink tea... and I...well...I...Hm..." L then proceeded to stare into space, fingering his lip.

" Well then," Soichiro said flatly. Seeing that L wouldn't be breaking his reverie any time soon, he exited the room, pausing to grab Light's wrist and drag him out with him.

L leaned back down, nibbling on his Skinny Cow. A dinging sound came from the elevator down the hall, and L yelled out, " Come in, Watari," knowing that it was his caretaker.

The door swung open, and a rich, smooth, creamy voice came from the entrance. " Hello there, L."

The detective rolled his eyes. He knew this wasn't Watari, but he also knew who that voice belonged to. He might as well let them in.

" You can enter," he said flatly.

" Oh dear, you wouldn't want me to melt now, would you?" the guest exclaimed.

L scowled. " Don't make me laugh. With all the preservatives and syrups in your blood, it's essentially impossible for you to melt. L swiveled around in his chair. " I would know, I had you made by the best. " Or the worst, at this point," he muttered to himself.

" Oh, you do flatter me so," they chuckled in response. They stepped from the shadows, the chipping and cracking sound of there footsteps soon approaching L's ears.

" Hm, it seems that my demise is inevitable at this point," they sighed. " Oh well. All the better reason for you to eat me, right?"

" I won't succumb!" L growled, clenching his fists. " You, my old companion, my new enemy! Feel the pain and wrath of gummy bears!" A bag materialized in his hand, and L faced his guest, features contorting with rage.

" I see how it is," they responded. They wore a dark ebony trench coat, and a hat to match.

L smirked. " You almost pass of as a human. "**Almost,**" he said pointedly, sending a glance at their feet. He charged, tearing off the coat with expertise.

" YOU WILL NEVER PREVAIL‼ ICE CREAM CONE‼" he roared.

" Ah, yes, my true identity is revealed." The guest was now visible. They were a life size chocolate ice cream cone, covered in white chocolate chips, sanders syrup, and bits of deep fried donut, completely glazed.

It was impossible to tell if they were a male or female ice cream cone.

" I didn't want to resort to this," L murmured. " But I have no choice! If you try to end my diet, you are messing with the wheel of fate!" he said firmly. " I WILL NOW UNLEASH UPON YOU MY GUMMY BEARS OF DOOM‼ BALK IN THEIR PRESENCE!" L threw open the bag, tossing it in the ice cream cones direction.

" No! Please!" the ice cream cone sobbed, tears of chocolate sauce running down it's (cheeks?)

As the gummy bears tumbled out of the bag, there didn't seem to be anything odd about them. Well at least until they sprouted black leathery wings and started breathing fire.

" RAAAGGHAASDS;DLFAJSDKLFJSD;LKFJ‼" they screeched, attacking the ice cream cone. The dessert's tortured screams echoed throughout the whole building as it got consumed.

L shrugged, turning back to his work. " Well, you said you wanted to be eaten."

" R-revenge..." It rasped between breaths. " I- I WILL GET REVENGE‼" were it's final words as it melted into a meaningless heap.

L checked his watch. He was running late on his schedule by ten minutes.

_' Oh well...at least the battle burned calories...'_

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(AN) Ugh! An awkward ending, an unsteady plot...typical symptoms of writers block and distracting music... Oh well...

I'm so sorry for not uploading in such a long time! Will you still review anyway? Pretty please? ^_^

* Note, if you are a Soul Eater fan, you'll recognize these references. I actually like Soul Eater, even though I was kind of bashing the characters in this chapter. I just figured that they'd bug L for some reason...^^


	4. Chapter 4

L settled back into his chair.

Suddenly, everything turned black and white, rainbows spurted out of the electrical wires, a dinosaur crashed through the ceiling, the sky turned neon green, it began to rain broccoli, the floor turned into pudding, blood began to ooze from L's keyboard, a rabid dog began to chew on his papers while a monkey wearing a top hat and a monocle sipped L's coffee, the cat in the hat began doing cartwheels on all of his monitors, L's hair got shredded out of his head, a hippo-

" Ryuuzaki-kun!"

-as Santa Clause melted all of the windows with his laser vision, an army of iniquitous demon bunnies took over the world, Barney stepped on the building next door, Taylor Swift got braces, an ominous pink storm cloud formed in the north, a gigantic killer peacock ate all of the marshmallows in the world, monkeys developed superior intelligence, an insignificant roach in someones house sneezed-

" Ryuuzaki-kun! Snap out of it‼"

-and thus the apocalypse began.

" Quit staring into space!" L felt a stinging sensation on his face, and he blinked, everything fading dizzily into his regular, gray, work area.

L slowly turned his head to the right, the unfortunate appearance of Misa's overly made up face coming into his vision. L placed a hand on his burning cheek.

" If I may inquire, did you just slap me?" he murmured.

" Yes! You were staring blankly at the wall, and I was trying to tell you about the incredibly sexy date Light-kun and I had yesterday!"

" Oh. You mean the one where you asked him out, he refused, and then you dumped a can of tuna on his head?" L muttered.

Misa leaned forward, cupping a hand around her ear. " Huh? What did you say? I didn't hear you."

L coughed. " Nothing."

Misa hopped around, hands folded behind her back. " Wow, I've never been in this room before! Light-kun said I shouldn't. Something about shattering computer screens with my high-pitched voice." Misa turned her head to the side. " What does, ' high pitched' mean, Ryuuzaki-kun?"

L rubbed his forehead, an impending migraine throbbing at his temples. " Misa, just how did you get into this room? I proofed the doors against annoying pop stars."

" Huh? What do you mean, Ryuuzaki-kun? I've been here for your whole life. Watching you. Staring at you. Sitting in the corner, concealed by the shadows. Living on the turds left by the mice in the dust. **I know everything about you, Ryuuzaki-kun.**" Misa giggled, a dark glint in her eyes.

L was seemingly oblivious to the creepy aura coming from behind his shoulder. " Mouse turds? No wonder you're so thin," he remarked.

" Yeah! Misa noticed that Ryuuzaki-kun is dieting as well! But ice cream has fat, and fat makes you fat, so how is that going to help?" Misa asked, tapping her chin.

L's eyes narrowed. " I'm not trying to 'help' anything. I am merely trying to halt or at least slow down any upcoming health concerns."

Misa rotated her head 180 degrees. " Misa-bot has processed 40% of information sent to her. Please wait before proceeding with any more computations," she squawked like a parrot. Her head turned back to him, and L realized that she had become a parrot, with a neon blue beak, amber eyes, green neck feathers, and... she wasn't wearing any clothes.

L politely averted his eyes.

" Ryuuzaki-kuuuuunnnn! Your staring into space again! Wake up!" Misa's jarring voice shot L out of his crouching position, and he looked at her.

Her face looked as plastic as usual, her hair the same piss yellow color as always, and her lips looked perfectly botoxed, as they always did.

She was also wearing clothes, thankfully.

L swiveled his chair to the computer screen, a frown dragging down his features. He tapped his fingers absent-mindedly on the keyboard.

" No! Don't start it again Ryuuzaki-kun-"

" I am fully capable of hearing your repelinglly screechy voice, thank you very much," L muttered. Before Misa could retaliate, he turned to her, asking, " Misa Amane, do you like parrots?"

Misa wrinkled her nose. " No. They're squawky and poop all over the place."

L was about to answer, " Yeah? Kind of like you?" but decided against it. Instead, he answered, " Have you ever recalled looking like a parrot?"

" Whaaaaaat? Misa is cute, and parrots aren't! You dare to associate Misa with something that isn't cute!" Misa yelped.

" Sure. Whatever." L said shortly. He turned back to his computer.

Why was he seeing these things? First the ice cream cone, then the dinosaur, then Santa Claus and his laser vision... this just wasn't adding up.

" It just makes no sense..." L muttered, chewing on his thumb nail.

Misa leaned over Ryuuzaki's shoulder. " Ryuuzaki-kun seems stressed out. Maybe Ryuuzaki-kun needs a hug," Misa suggested. Before L could jerk away, knowing what she was implying, a pair of thin arms wrapped around his neck, and Misa rested her head against his shoulder.

L stiffened, trying to duck away from her, but it was to no avail, he was trapped by her embrace of death.

L knew that sugar couldn't putrefy, but if it could, that description would best suit the scent of Misa's perfume.

For a moment, he wondered if all women smelled like this.

_' Note to self: Steer clear of females.' _

L's eyes shot open. That was it! Sugar!

_' Yes, that must be it! The only reason that I would be experiencing such fantastical hallucinations would be because my lack of sugar intake! I must solve this problem immediately!' _

Since L wasn't a stereotypical shojen anime character with abilities to teleport, he resorted to dragging Misa along with him; the girl in question refusing to release his neck.

Hopping out of his chair with his weird L powers, he slunk across the floor to the door, and exited the room.

It took him approximately 20 minutes to manuever around the stairs with Misa on his back. But L reached the kitchen eventually, where Matsuda was pigging out on Pop Tarts.

The young man stiffened. " R-Ryuuzaki-kun! I-I wasn't expecting you! I was just, um...well, I..."

L seized the whole box from him, shoving all of the pop tarts down his oversized gullet at once.

Tears formed in Matsuda's eyes. " No! Not my rasberryudumptious yummyness!" he sobbed.

L scrounged around the kitchen, a feral glow in his eyes. " _Sugar..." _He moaned.

Matsuda was completely oblivious to this, as he licked the floor, trying to get any Pop Tart crumbs that L left behind.

L began to chew through the cabinets. " _Sugaaaaar..." _he repeated between bites.

Matsuda found a particulary satisfying chunk of jam, and spent extra time loading it onto his tongue.

L found a jar in one of the drawers that contained sugar. He attempted to shove the whole thing down at once, but it got stuck in his not-so-stretchy jaw.

Matsuda realized that the jam he was licking was waste left by a mouse, and screamed, scooting away. This triggered Misa leaping off of L's back, screaming, " Mouse turds!" and setting upon the task of consuming it.

This was how Watari found them all.

It was an understatement to say he was startled.

" Oh dear," he whispered.

* * *

_(AN) _Misa bashing everywhere! Though there was that L and Misa scene snuck in...

Well, I thought that the last chapter was weird, but this one doesn't even make any sense! Oh well, its humor...

Thank you to anyone who has reviewed this story!


	5. Chapter 5

Soichiro leaned back into his chair, rubbing his forehead. Exhaustion plagued his body, and he had no desire to get up from this spot. Perhaps he should just call it quits for the night.

" Hey dad."

Soichiro jumped slightly, turning around. " Light? What are you doing up?"

Light shrugged. " I dunno. I got bored of lying around and not being included in the latest chapter." He stared angrily at the wall above Soichiro's head. " Did any of you even miss me⁉" he yelled, eyes narrowing.

Soichiro raised an eyebrow. " Light... Who are you talking to?" he said slowly.

Light blinked, clearing his throat. " Nobody. Anyways, what are you doing just sitting here, dad? Shouldn't you be working on the case?"

Soichiro sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. " Actually Light, I was hoping I might encounter you here. There is something I wish to discuss with you."

Light felt sweat beading on his forehead as he settled in the chair across from his father. " Yes? What is it?" he asked nervously.

" Well, Light, I..." Soichiro got up, pacing the room. " I, well...hm..."

Light tensed his muscles. This was a fight or flee situation. Judging by the nervous exterior that his father was presenting, he was probably about to deliver bad news. It most likely wasn't family related, otherwise Soichiro would've sought him out to let him know. It probably didn't pertain to the Kira case, or L would have already informed him. Unless... No it couldn't be!

_' Does Dad... know I'm Kira⁉' _Light, with his lack of recollection skills, had seemingly forgotten that he had even shown any hints that he was Kira.

Soichiro reseated himself, hands twisting in his lap, eyes traveling around the room.

Light was now certain about what his father was going to say. He twitched, hands clenching. " What is it dad?" he asked, his voice squeaking up approximately 4.014,234,124,342 octaves.

Soichiro tilted his head downwards. " Well Light, I just wanted to let you know that I believe you are K-"

" GAAAAAAAAAGHHHH‼" Light launched out of his seat, frantically waving his arms around. He jabbed his finger in Soichiro's chest. " LIAR! YOU LIE! LIAR LIAR LIAR PLANTS FOR HIRE‼" he screeched.

Soichiro looked offended. " My plants are not for hire! They are all solitary workers! Out of all people I think you should know this, Light!"

Light's eyes were maniacal. " How can I trust you on that, father? That is probably a lie as well!" he screamed.

" HOW DARE YOU!"

The door slammed open, startling both occupants of the room. L staggered in, a large jar in his mouth.

Soichiro stared at him blankly. " Ryuuzaki?"

Light continued to act like he wasn't there. " LIAR LIAR LIAR‼" he yelled, smashing furniture into the wall.

L stumbled, bumping in to him. Light turned around, a murderous look in his eyes. He brought down the chair towards L's head, and in a desperate attempt to dodge, L stepped backwards. The chair broke into the jar, shattering it. Pieces of glass flew throughout the room, and one struck Light in the shoulder. " Ouchie!" he yelped, falling back against the wall.

Miraculously, none of the glass had touched L, and now all that resided in his mouth was a huge lump of sugar. He swallowed it, a dazed look in his eyes.

Soichiro stood in the midst of all of this, staring blankly at L, who at the moment, was licking excess sugar off of his lips. He turned his gaze to Light, who leaned against the wall, pouting and wailing like a small child as he clutched his shoulder.

Soichiro opted to sit on the floor and absorb all of this.

Perhaps he **should** call it quits for the day.

* * *

Watari placed a small Mickey Mouse band-aid on Light's shoulder. " All better!" He proclaimed, stepping back.

L crouched in the corner, nibbling on his thumb. Soichiro walked over to him, glaring at him sternly.

" Ryuuzaki, do you have anything to say for yourself?" he asked angrily.

L looked up at him boredly. " Why do you ask such an irrelevant thing?" he inquired.

" What?" Soichiro exclaimed. " You had a jar stuck in your mouth! How did that even happen?"

L shrugged, continuing to chew on his thumb. " Blame Matsuda. It's usually his fault."

" I HEARD THAT!" a voice yelled from the next room.

Soichiro shook his head. " I'm disappointed. Aren't you supposed to be an adult?"

L didn't respond, instead turning away. " You're beginning to irritate me," he said dully.

Soichiro smacked his forehead. " I'm getting sick of this," he lamented, walking away. Suddenly L was behind him, with hand on his shoulder. " I actually DO have something to say for myself," he stated.

Soichiro turned around, eyes shut triumphantly. " I am glad that you have finally decided to be mature about this Ryuuzaki-"

" Do we still have some of those Skinny Cows?" L interrupted.

" GAAAAAAGH!"

* * *

(AN) I think this story has kind of come to an end. Sorry for taking so long to update! I had total writers block. Do **you** think this makes a good ending chapter?


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